B . L O G

According to some studies, birds prefer to defecate on dark red surfaces much more than on green ones. In my own experiment, birds preferred to defecate on infertile ground (ground with no vegetation) rather than on concrete. It's obvious why. You can call that instinct, you can say birds are not doing it consciously, but can you be sure their psyche won't be affected if you remove that element (greater purpose) from their lives? In that very interesting experiment with mice done quite some time ago, the mouse population went extinct soon after they were given everything they need (or so it is commonly thought). The mice lived in a plague-free (sterile) environment, with a plenitude of comforts, a lack of predation and an unlimited supply of consumables - all the luxuries equivalent to modern human life. Comparisons with human population are also interesting, but they all conclude that humans are different and can avoid disaster (extinction). Yes, that's true, but only if human sanity is preserved. In the experiment, mice were isolated from nature, they were given everything their body needs in nature but, with that, they have stopped doing what nature needs them to do - they've lost their greater purpose. Nature does not need all of mice doing what's needed but if significant percent of population doesn't participate and give back, just take (like mice in the experiment), their nature will mess up their psyche. Perhaps you believe that nature does not need you so you won't go crazy like the mice did, start killing your children, attacking your mates in bursts of aggression and practice cannibalism. But that is exactly what you will do - unless you belong to that small percentage of those with a relatively non-controllable (neutral) psyche - in which case, you will retreat into isolation. And it is not wild nature that will affect the psyche of polarized people - it is the collective psyche of people that affects the psyche of individuals just like the psyche of individuals affects the psyche of the population. You might say you don't care what other people do or say but that's irrelevant - you will descend into madness, this is simply how things work in reality, it's a mechanism embedded in life operation. In any population, it is not only the individuals that are evolving minds, the population is evolving a mind of its own. Just look at all the conspiracy theories. A lot of bad things are going on that some often try but fail to pin to conscious action of individuals or groups of individuals. This is obviously generally not conscious on individual human level. Souls and bodies co-evolve (one does not emerge from the other) so you cannot expect that it is only the individuals of the body that affect the mind of the population - influence goes in both directions. After all, it is well known that mind can influence individual cells of the body, even consciously (e.g., raising temperature of the body through g-Tummo meditation), you just have to admit that population of humans can be coupled to a discrete mind just like the population of neurons in your head can. Therefore, if you are polarized and want to avoid self-destructive strong and sick polarization you should separate from general population and settle in a neutral environment where you will have a purpose for everything else rather than exist solely for the sake of humanity. The sooner the better, as the collapse of civilization has already started. If you don't notice it, that's only because your psyche has already been altered in order to ignore it. But you have probably noticed the surge of irrationality with the pandemics. That was just the intro. Think I don't know what I'm saying? You're already insane. I have already been near self-destruction but I have survived insanity. I was spared of death because I still have greater purposes. One of them may have been to tell the tale. 2023.05.06
Taking everything into account, I now believe that this craziness will be a more or less localized phenomenon (correlated with UBI, increase in totalitarianism and lack of food/habitat diversity or diversity in general). That does not mean the extinction won't be global, but generally, it may be different than described above.
2026.04.09
Some 7 months ago I've turned 44. This is a well known physiological transformation age. And indeed, I have changed. I'm still neutral, I still do the things I did before, but I don't feel anything about them. Everything I do is now coupled with a question of meaning, of purpose. And I don't see the purpose in anything anymore. There is no depression - I may not see the purpose in my life but I don't see the purpose in killing myself either. The world seems ever crazier, and my will to socialize with people is all but gone. People always talked a lot about small big things, but I used to listen and even cared. Now, I seldom bother. Sometimes I can't tell what was said even when I know words have been spoken. But my hearing is fine, it just seems I'm subconsciously filtering to hear only what I'm genuinely somewhat interested to hear or from whom. I see this as a karmic reaction - because no one, or almost no one, really cared or heard what I've been saying (at least not my interpretation of it) - both through words and deeds - for years and years. When you're working and talking (literally or not) for years but no one listens and you don't feel rewarded for that work, it's not surprising that the will and motivation for communication and contribution is gone. One just doesn't see the purpose. I'm pretty sure I now feel in human way what that mice who retreated into isolation felt. I'm provided food to eat and water to drink, my parents provide me place to live, electricity, internet, and I'm even earning some money. But even if I earned all of it, nothing of it did I get in return for what I believe is in my nature to do. And I still feel confined to a place someone or something wants me to be in. My body may be satisfied, but to a soul without a purpose, this body is just another burden to bear. Yes, I'm decreasing my dependence on others - planting more and more food each year, working on my own future home (retreat actually), with its own electricity and water. And I will continue working on that, but there is no joy in it either because I don't see the purpose even in that anymore. Why? Maybe because it increasingly seems I'm going to die there alone, without any sense of purpose - just like those mice in the experiment. For once, I wish I was wrong. It makes one wonder, is this all one experiment as well? It certainly can be interpreted as a karmic reaction to our experiments on other life. In any case, I believe loss of purpose is a common part of any extinction. Some life doesn't get extinct because it couldn't survive physically, rather simply because of loss of purpose. Those mice that were killing their progeny - maybe they felt there are too many of them already. There are cases in human history where people've resorted to infanticide to control the population. Are we going to be seeing this on a bigger scale in future? Those that turned to cannibalism? Maybe they were just trying to get closer to their purpose, by obtaining their own food. Loss of purpose is highly correlated with the loss of fertility/reproduction. A cell in a body that's lost its purpose stops dividing and gets scheduled for apoptosis. We're just large scale cells or proteins (karma is relatively scale-invariant). Humans, if they remain faithful to their cancerous spirit, will ignore apoptosis and continue reproduction through artificial means. But what's the purpose in that? No cancer has survived the patient it killed. Back to myself.. I probably have about 40 more years to live. I could hear now the optimistic one of me saying: "Seems like plenty of time for my purpose and I to find each other". With the pessimistic one replying: ".. but too much time if neither of us isn't even looking". As a proper realist, I superpose the two and say: "What is certainly ahead is time, so that's what I shall make space for now".